Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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