yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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