Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
do herpes really smell.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
