Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
