found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Of course I have a pirate flag
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
