Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
