So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
