I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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