The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
