At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
