Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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