No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
