she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
