Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
