ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
