Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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