Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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