Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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