Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
