That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
