Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
