Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize