Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
