Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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