there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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