i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
