I feel great
I just peed on a car
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
