I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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