I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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