I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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