Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
operation have a gay friend backfired
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
