I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize