I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
