Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
