Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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