No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize