After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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