She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize