So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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