omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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