just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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