Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
