well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
