And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize