4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
