If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
