3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
