...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
