Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
