Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
