Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
