i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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