I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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