i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
