i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
