so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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