I am midnight drunk by noon
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
