I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
