did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
