You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
