i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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