...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
